It's that time of year again...feeling restless, stressed, hopeless, scared, confused...all of the wonderful feelings we can be aware of. Strange relationship faded, job a mess, emptiness. Always waiting. Friends getting married, having kids, or excelling in their careers. When's it my turn? The stress is so overwhelming that it cripples me.
God is changing that. It is incredible all that faith in God can do. To change your heart and fix (or re-fix) your heart on him. To let go. To give it over to Him. To follow not your own path, but the path God has set for you. Stop trying to control everything. Pray. Have faith. His will, will be done.
Over the last few months I've been turning back to God. Opening my heart and letting him in. I have absolutely been met with challenges, but also with incredible blessings!! I have an incredible church community and small group that inspires and enables growth. The relationships there are so real. To be known is an awesome thing! I am working hard to get to know people below the surface and likewise be known to them. Following those feelings of giving support or prayer--taking action in faith. Going beyond the 'nominal' Christian facade that is common. I don't want to be that. I want to fully put my trust in God and embrace His Kingdom here on earth, in this city, in my family, etc.
Since I have been re-committing my life to God there have been challenges. My dad was recently laid of from his job of over 35 years and my mom lost her best friend and colleague to lung cancer last June. My heart is so very heavy and sad at these things, but also hopeful in the promise that God has made to be with us and in all things. With my dad in particular, I hope that he is able to find and welcome God into his life.
Blessings. From the Emo Church series at Reality to the teachings of the book of Mark on fear and doubt at Redemption, I have been pulled and stretched in lots of ways. I have been wanting to use my faith in session with clients and focusing my work and beliefs into one job/position/career. I apply jobs in a void it seems. Needing to find a place I feel valued, needed, and appreciated, like at Galileo. Not being constantly knocked down, held down, or held back by those who 'can' at Apple. In letting go, in giving that stress and hurt over to God, I have been so much happier and open to all that God has to show me. I have met amazing people. I have had amazing conversations. I have been given amazing opportunities--like this current one to work at Fremont Christian School. God is blessing me in so many ways, so that I may share with and give support to so many others, rather than being stuck in a bitter, depressed, and scared state alone.
God gives us the strength to overcome fear. Christ conquered way more than the fear and judgment we feel today. He is our strength. He is our reminder of hope, love, forgiveness, and grace that is possible in this fallen world of ours. Trust in Him and you will have peace. God's grace is sufficient. By grace you have been saved.
Amen.
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